First Post

Recently one my my female friends, mid-20s, told me I should write a blog.

So, here's what I have to offer:

I'm a 20-something year old female living in a townhouse near DC. I'm a contractor for the government, working as a web admin for their website (I swear to god if I get another healthcare.gov crack I'm going to flip). Sometimes I vend at conventions selling retro anime and video game merchandise for my store Nerd Elysium. Here I will give all of my lovely advice that I learn through life by making huge, tiny mistakes (Arrested Development ahhhhh) ... or just rant about stuff most middle-class, first-world country people complain about. If you are looking for random bull-crap that 95% of people would consider bunk, you've found your place.

So, I've realized after college I've started to diversify the kind of friends I make a keep.

It's harder to make friends outside of college. And let me tell you, OKCUPID is not the way to go to make friends -- usually. (Common sense is common.)

I don't love one certain group of friends over another. Actually, one of my best post-college friends is a "non-nerd" and loves football (barf). So, let me tell you: as you get older, you don't need friends who are exactly interested in what you are interested in ... as long as they don't treat you like TOTAL crap, they are in.

So, my friends can be cut and paste into 2 distinct categories, but some fun sub categories as well

• The Nerds
• Social nerds
• Have lots of friends
• Hilariously inappropriate
• Drink excessively, or at least get drunk once a month
• Socially inept nerds
• Shy, awkward
• Good one-on-one, not so good in groups
• Rarely drink/never drink
• The Non-Nerds
• Party people
• So much drink I can't even
• Calm people
• Drink as much as the "social nerds" do

Surprisingly, the friend who convinced me to start this blog is a "Non-Nerd Calm people" (god I should write books, the amount of language skills I have are over 9,000). If I had to categorize myself, I'd be under "Social Nerds", definitely trying to drink a wee bit less myself ;)

The reason I'm bothering to explain this is because it seems across the board, straight men love nerdy girls. I decided to give my non-nerdy galpal some advice, jokingly, on how to win over guys whether they be nerdy or not.

(straight) Ladies, you might laugh, but I shit you not -- this works.

This is the advice I sent my poor friend.

How to (apparently) win a guy:

·        Treat them like a bro

o   Fist bumps

o   Side hugs

o   Literally calling them “bro” or “dude”

o   Constantly making fun of them

·        Enjoy nerdy things

o   Brush up on n64 games

§  Nostalgia sells

o   Study some HTML

§  Dudes bone over HTML

·        Casual as fuck

o   Wearing TMNT pajama pants when they come over for dinner is 100% acceptable, apparently

·        Treat them special

o   Invite them for a video game dinner night

§  First invite them to play games, then ask what they want to eat for dinner when they are over. If they act super grateful just say “Dude no big”

o   Invite them to events with you (but make it seem casual, once again, no big deal if they come or not)

·        Crude humor

o   Admitting you watch porn is apparently hot

§  Having it accidentally pop up when you type in a website on your laptop is also apparently hot

So, she found this advice humorous.

Possibly (probably) embarrassing. 

Changing up little things is a great idea, but an entire personality overhaul will leave you exhausted and depressed (believe me, I've tried it). Everyone grows as they get older, and personalities change. I'm sure at age 45 I won't have guys over while I'm wearing PJs, and I'm okay with that.

But seriously, those bro fist bumps are killer. Knock one in and the guy is yours.